I have been meaning to do this for quite some time. I'm not sure why I have put it off. Partially it has been out of laziness, partially it is because I had hopped to do a better job writing about leaving the church, but right now I just need to get it done.
(Click here to jump to the UPDATE with the Church's response.)
One reason for taking my name off the church records is I don't want them to count me in the numbers they quote of their membership. Their membership numbers directly correlate with how much political power the church has, especially outside of Utah. Lately, with Prop 8 for example, the church has become more political. I do not want to support any organization trying to manipulate the law to infringe on the rights of others who they disagree with.
Another reason is that by talking critically about the church, on my blog for example, I could technically be "charged" with apostasy and be excommunicated. As of today I am no longer subject to any church disciplinary actions, nor do they have assumed permission to contact me. I would rather quit than be fired.
Mostly though, I want to leave the church behind me. The church will always be a part of my upbringing, but it will never again be part of my future. It is time to let it go completely.
Below is my letter to Member Records. They will most likely forward it to the bishop in my area who will then send it to the steak president. After 30 days (or sooner if they are nice) they will send it back to Salt Lake City and then I will get a short form letter, supposedly two sentences long, telling me that I am no longer a member. (This is kind of ironic as the Church Handbook of Instruction says that my resignation can "not [be] a form letter" - which, legally, it actually can be.)
I was disappointed to hear the church doesn't actually respond personally to people's letters when they leave the church. I was hoping to get a response to some of my reasons for leaving, contained in my letter. I would have liked to post their reply here, in the interest of fairness.
My letter (it's a long one):
September 15, 2012
Member Records
50 E North Temple, Rm 1372
Salt Lake City, UT 84150-5310
This letter is my formal resignation from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, effective immediately. I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs, and discipline. I want my name permanently and completely removed from the membership rolls of the church.
I have given this matter considerable thought. I understand what you may consider the "seriousness" and the "consequences" of my actions. I am aware that the Church Handbook of Instructions says that my resignation "cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member and revokes temple blessings" and that I will be "readmitted to the church by baptism only after a thorough interview". (Church Handbook of Instructions 2006 edition pg.148 - see also Church Handbook of Instruction 2010 edition pg.21&72) (You can download the Church Handbook of Instructions 2010 here It's mostly boring, but has some interesting info in it.)
My resignation should be processed immediately, without any waiting period. I will not be dissuaded or change my mind. I expect this matter to be handled promptly, with and respect.
After today, the only contact with church representatives I authorize is a letter of confirmation letting me know I am no longer listed as a member of the church as well as a letter addressing my concerns below if you choose to do so.
I have posted this letter publicly on my blog, http://thegospelofatheism.blogspot.com/ In the interest of fairness I would be happy to post any response you would like to send me there as well.
One of the core disagreements I have with the LDS church is that it does not acknowledge the universe we live in as real. The church believes that our lives, and this world, is all just a "test;" that pre-existence and after-life are more "real" than what we experience every day. When the church teaches that everything that we see and hear could be potentially a "test" from God (or a "trick" of the devil) they insult the intelligence of it's members and deny the sanctity of human life. The "test" the LDS church would have us believe God has put us in, is actually a deception. If a true god wanted to test us, he would not test us with lies and illusions.
Unfortunately even the promises of God in scriptures cannot be counted on as reliable. For instance, Jesus said "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. . . If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" (Matthew 7:7-11)
I am not the only one who has prayed in faith, believing, and yet not received an answer. The fact that the few promises in the scriptures which are verifiable are verifiably false strongly indicates the other things which must only be taken on faith are also not true.
The lack of evidence for the Book of Mormon is undeniable. Even simple evidence which should exist does not. For instance, the stone box containing the gold plates in the Hill Cumorah does not exist. This that means God intentionally removed it (or allowed someone to remove it). This is simple evidence that would not necessarily "prove" the BoM is true but could back up Joseph Smith's claim. What reason would someone have for digging that up? What reason would God have to deceive us by removing evidence? The most likely answer is that there was no box there in the first place.
There are many other examples like this, where simple evidence just isn't there. The fact that Native Americans's DNA indicates they came from Asia, not the Middle East. The fact that there is no evidence of wheels, iron, or horses in America in the time period the Book of Mormon is alleged to have taken place. Things such as the discovery of the papyri Joseph Smith claimed was scripture about Abraham, but which is a common Egyptian funerary text. I could go on and on. Although it can be hard to understand why Joseph Smith wrote the Book of Mormon, it simply does not correspond with observable world and cannot be a true record of a people living in ancient Americas.
When faced with questions about the church, or embarrassing details of the church's history, the response by church leaders is to ignore the questions or embarrass the inquirer. Instead members are asked to just "have faith." Although I agree that faith is an important component to any system of beliefs, if this faith is not based on an underlying truth it is merely self-deception.
Scientific principals are also taken on faith by many of us today, but they can, if we choose, be questioned, studied, and understood. This questioning is expected and addressed by explanations which become more and more clear the more we inquire. The ability of scientific principals to withstand scrutiny adds to faith in science.
It is very troubling that the church not only discourages questioning and criticism, but also takes disciplinary action against people who question. This would indicate the church knows it has something to hide. If questions make church leaders afraid, they must not have enough knowledge of the principles in which members are supposed to have faith. If the leaders, who supposedly talk to God about these principles, do not have a firm enough grasp of them to stand up to scrutiny without fear, then this is another strong indication that the principles themselves are flawed.
Too much of the church happens in secret. Working in secret and darkness is not ethical or right. An invisible god appearing in secret rooms, in a private and restricted temple, to impart a secret version of information vital to our salvation to a small group of old white men is not how a true and just god would operate. Truth does not exist in darkness, behind closed doors, fighting against any scrutiny or questions of any sort.
Finally, I am saddened by the false promises, of wealth and happiness in an afterlife, which are given in order to extort the sacrifice and money of millions of members. When they find out they have been lied to, it is too late for them to take their lives back, too late to recover the lost time and wealth they could have used for themselves, or the advancement of society, or solving our many real problems such as hunger, disease, energy, and climate change.
When I said a final prayer I said I would be open to God showing me where I may have been wrong about him. In the nine years since then, nothing has led me to question my conclusions, even though they are neither comfortable nor convenient. I cannot continue to pretend he exists. If God is hiding his face from me, it's not because I did not look for him.
It is impossible to "disprove" God completely, but I know that the theistic Mormon god does not exist. If there is some sort of a god and I do stand before him one day I know I can tell him, with all honesty and sincerity, I followed the truth as it was revealed to me. If God is true, and just, and loving he will know my heart and know this is true.
Sincerely,
Jeffrey Udall
If I do hear back from anyone in the church (would probably be the bishop if it is anyone) I will update this post with their response.
If you are a member of the church and want to also leave the church as well I would suggest checking out the website Mormon No More I got much of the wording of the first portion of this letter, as well as a lot of good advice on the procedure for leaving the Mormon Church, from them.
UPDATE - 9/26/12 - I received my (automated?) response from Member Services today stating that they consider this a "ecclesiastical issue" and will have the bishop of the ward I live in contact me. Hopefully he is smart enough to read my letter and not contact me unless he would actually like to discuss the issues I brought up in my letter.
Just to clarify for everyone, I am legally no longer a member of the church at this point. The letter insinuates that I am still a member until the bishop contacts me and he and the stake president have settled this "matter." This is dishonest and slightly threatening. It is interesting that the clerk who entered my information didn't bother signing their name.
Here is the actual letter (I'm sure it is the same form letter anyone who leaves the church will get):
It is a nice sentiment expressed in this pamphlet, but it also indicates they must receive many letters like mine every day.
I will update this post again once I have heard from the bishop and/or gotten my final confirmation letter from the church saying they have taken my name from the records.
FINAL UPDATE - 12/05/12
I finally received my official reply from the church, and I must say, I'm pretty disappointed. It's even more impersonal than the first response. Not even a "Wish you well." Here it is:
Couldn't they have a human being write me a response when I'm (supposedly) leaving the only church that has the true gospel and the only way into the highest heaven? People who call the church's phone lines to order a free bible talk to a live person (I was one of them in the missionary training center). I gave two years of my life fully to this church, and much of the rest of my first 23 years of life. And I get a couple of form letters and a pamphlet.
I hope even the most optimistic member of the church can see that there is a problem with that.
